The more the film progresses, the more it gets to be surprisingly audacious with harsh and realist content, but much more often than not, the film is way too Hollywood for its own good, with cheesiness that ranges from something as inconsequential as a lazily lame theme song that is sickeningly blunt in its folksy lyricism, to glaring dialogue and plotting histrionics which don't even give this true story the courtesy of moderate historical accuracy. The film drags its feet to a runtime of about 122 minutes, and this kind of should-be minimalist narrative shouldn't be so lengthy, no matter how much the filmmakers work to bloat the narrative in a way that only '50s Hollywood could. There are some twists to characterization, but it's mostly thin, no matter how much time the film spends meditating upon its characters by forcing in convoluted subplots and other layers, if not simply limping out on material. Underdeveloped, the film doesn't have a whole lot of time to stop everything and remind you of the lives of the figures it portrays, but storytelling, being lacking in immediate development and, to a lesser extent, gradual exposition, really feels as though it's expecting you to know these characters, and puts little attention into fleshing them out in the concept of this story. You certainly can't call this "The Magnificent Two", because as decent as it is, it's far from magnificent, for a number of reasons. Yeah, like I said, they Hollywooded this thing up, although, if they were really working up the fan service here, then they missed out on a perfect opportunity to look at that picture of Earp at age 33 and make Lancaster's moustache more magnificent than ever, at least to show that it was possible.If you're snickering, I don't know if it's because you're in denial about also having a dude crush on Burt Lancaster, or because you're thinking about how before "The Magnificent Seven", John Sturges missed out on an opportunity to make this "The Magnificent Moustache". Yeah, Robert Strout, I understand that you're worried about being moved to Alcatraz to be put to death, and being separated from the birds that you took in as your only friends, but at least you go out looking good. Yeah, speaking of "Tombstone", maybe I can respect "Wyatt Earp" a little better than most everyone else can because I kind of feel sorry for Wyatt Earp himself, because Hollywood just keeps messing with his truth, although, in all fairness, I don't know how sorry you can feel for someone who ended up being played by Burt Lancaster. If anyone thought that the portrayal of this film's titular gunfight in "Wyatt Earp" was underwhelming, what with its fading to black and all, I can at least give it credit for the accuracy, because the whole brawl didn't last but about 30 seconds or something, but here, they "Tombstone" that baby up, which would be great and all if it didn't take them about as long to get to the gunfight here as it did in the three-hour-long "Wyatt Earp". Spartacus and, well, to simply sum up the awesomeness, "Burt Lancaster" join forces in the Old West to take down some sorry criminals, so for those of you who like action, get excited, and for you historians, well, tough luck.
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